Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Slight hic cup

Started back to work at end of August.. 4 hours a day to start with, now upto six. The police are good with that sort of thing. Its a good way to get you back into the swing of things and it certainly helped me.

I was doing ok up until recent when the news showed David Cameron rushing to his fathers side just before he died. The following day on Radio 2 there was a phone in asking for people who had experienced similar situations and asking what it had meant to them to be at the side of their loved ones as they died. I listened to people phoning in talking about their despair at missing that moment. There was caller after caller literally crying down the phone trying to explain the circumstances of how they were not able to be at the bedside and how much it has affected them since. I was in bits and haven't really recovered and found myself hunting for momentos of jane that I can keep close.


  1. Dear Martin, You have done so very well and it is still early days...You will get over this spell just as you got over these awful first days after Janes death. Take care, You and the family remain in my prayers,
    Love Sybil x

  2. i am so sorry martin.but these moments will hit you hard at times. remember that tears do heal,even bitter ones.take care,best wishes,mort

  3. Martin,
    You have done really well, and there will be moments like this in times to come. I hope you have plenty of mementoes of Jane, to complement the memories you have of your time together.

  4. like you said
    this is a 'slight hiccup'
    an uncomfortable feeling
    that will subside...

  5. sometimes hiccups last a bit longer than other times when they come & go quickly. stay strong, cry to release the pressure, and then smile as you enjoy a drink and remember all those wonderful years.

  6. It's strange how we tune into things such as you described. These moments seem to be sent to test our ability to cope You are doing so well Martin. Jane would be proud of you.
    Don't keep the sorrow inside. Let it out. Be kind to yourself and remember Jane with a smile when 'visiting' all those funny/happy moments you shared toegether.
    Not just her last days with you.
    We can be so cruel to ourselves when we visit those moments.
    She would be so proud of you getting back to work.
    Well done!

  7. you are bound to feel like this at times Martin, you have lost someone you loved very much and you will miss her it's only natural. I cry at weddings of total strangers, at sad films, at dark thoughts of my future, it's an emotional release but it will ease with time. xx

  8. my FIL passed on July 3rd..two hours after we left his bedside...my hubby was gutted...:-(